Feeling Victimized? Disengage!
October 2, 2008
If you are under attack and feeling victimized it may be time to disengage. By not participating in the battle your opponent is left fighting amongst him or herself. Once you step back from an attack your emotions will calm down and as an observer rather than a participant you will no longer be part of the problem or be victimized. Once disengaged you can immediately start to be part of the solution.
Disengagement is necessary when things are overly contentious, it is not always important to win with such effort and emotion it should be effortlessly done. When you step back and disengage this does not make you a loser just a smarter opponent. The need for immediate gratification often puts you on unstable ground a slower patient process at goal achieving action plans tends to make your success more solid.
When is the right time to disengage? If your feeling out of balance or begin attacking where you make things personal with your opponent and remove your professionalism from your behavior it is time to disengage. By not participating and walking away from the escalation your chances of not making a error in judgment decreases. I suggest when your heartrate stabilizes, when the animosity of the debate has calmed down then return to the issue of contention and this will improve your ability to be more sound, reasoned and successful.
Disengaging is a strategy that is not necessarily giving up but giving yourself time to recover and plan your response better. Arguments and debates that become heated and personal are not professional so avoid them at all cost.
